21stCenturyFables.com - Be Aware!
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                        (Author unknown)

                 to set YOU free!



                          

                                                 by Roch Jimenez
                                                 (Roc He~men~ez)

              1998-2011 copyright, Roch Jimenez. All Rights Reserved.


                                #

These eFables are all original and are for YOUR enlightenment and
entertainment. Some are
FR*E, some are 4 Sale...

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Printed and Reprinted from the supernatural/philosophical website http://www.21stCenturyFables.com.
Feel fr*e to surf over and be astonished. Be prepared to open up YOUR mind and soul...and reach for
the best of YOUR human potential!

                                       #

                       UNDER CONSTRUCTION



YOUR 1st fr*e eFable comes with a WARNING: Extreme Foul Language.

YOU'll see why in a minute, I call it:



"Life Without Stupid, Worthless Pieces of Shit"


"If YOU could rid the world of all its stupid, worthless people with the push of
  a button?

  Would YOU, could YOU...do it?

  Remember the incident with President Reagan about the Soviet Union
  comment?

  If not, don't worry. It'll  be explain shortly...


  Now, consider this:

                                            #


                   "YOU stuuupid motherfuuucker!"

"I HOPE YOU motherfucking DIE...YOU WORTHLESS PIECE of SHIT!!!"

"AND, I HOPE YOU DIE...NOW!"


With that, my anger dissipated. Catching my breath, I smiled...

That sure felt good!

                                            #

Today is July 26, 2012, my 56th birthday...

The beer is iced, the beef, chicken and sausages been marinating since
yesterday, and I was picking up last minute items for my party, when the
bitch tried to kill me...

But today, I'm not gonna let some shit-for-brains, who's yapping on the cell
and cuts right in front of me, without using the blinker or even looking to see
if anyone was in the next lane, ruin my day!


Just another day living with stupid, worthless human beings who don't deserve
to live and waste resources...

Well, Fuck them 4ever!!!

                                            #

That's the state of the average American citizen!

The average American have been dumbed down so much, that 87% of the
people use less than 5% of their brain...


The stupidity of humanity is at an all-time high...

Our very existence is being threatened...

Our planet is dying from being overworked and polluted!

These asswipes are a danger to those of us who have, and use our brains...

If there was a button I could push to get rid of the 87%ers, I'd be one
pushing motherfucker!

                                            #

Back in 1984, President Ronald Reagan was joking around with his sound check,
testing his microphone before his weekly fireside chat, when he said something
like this:

"My fellow Americans, I have before me a red button (imaginary), that when
  pushed, will launch all our nuclear weapons.

   I am pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw
   Russia forever.

   Simulating pressing his hand down on a button, looking dead-on into the
   camera, he said: We begin bombing in five minutes!"

Caused a big uproar, but damn...he sure made Americans feel good!

                                            #


Anyway, the party went off without a hitch...

It was great having all my nephews and nieces around again...

I helped raise them all, they were in their thirties and twenties,
they were all good kids...

No prison, arrests, gang activity, drug dealers, whores, prostitutes or
shitheads!

I'm real proud of that!

Proof that love, knowledge, discipline, and being involved in a child's
life makes a positive difference!

We don't raise shit-4-brains or fuckheads!

                                           #

The party broke up around midnight...

After my 5 younger sisters, nieces and nephews, and 79 and 80yr old
mom & pop left...

My good bud, Nieto (Nyet-though) and I stayed out on the back patio
drinking beer, listening to classic rock, yoking & joking...

After a few beers, Nieto whipped out a joint, said Happy Birthday and lit up...

Hey, I'm just older, not dead!

                                             #

As we hit up, I asked Nieto what he thought about the Mayan Prophecy Scare
of 2012, which is 5 months away...

Both of us being Mestizo, descendants of the Mayan people, we knew
the
Roman Catholic Church version and the version we grew up with...


The Church's version is how the Franciscan priests found an abandoned city
filled with snake carvings in stones and snake drawings in books. And, a large
circle of stone with carvings.

The priests took the stone circle, a few books, samples and treasures back to
Spain, after they burned every book and razed many stone carvings...

They thought, they had stumbled upon a city of Satan.

It wasn't until a Rosetta Stone was understood, that the circle of stone was
deciphered as a centuries old calender that ended on December 22, 2012.

The Anglo-Saxon, Roman Catholic version described this as Armageddon.

My Native American version tells of an end to the calendar forecast and an age
of enlightened consciousness...

                                             #



                      UNDER CONSTRUCTION



Then, it hit me...

First, the smoke...then the idea!

I turned, looked at Nieto and said: "I want a red button! I want to get rid of
all the stupid, worthless pieces of shit on the face of the earth,
4ever!"

Laughing and coughing, he managed to say: "That's a lotta people!"

Reaching for the joint, I said: "Nah, only shitheads who:

Talk on the Cell while Driving...
Don't using THEIR blinkers...
Don't look around when THEY change lanes...
Run Red Lights...
Park where THEY're not supposed...
Refuse to follow the arrows in parking lots...
Take up 2 parking spaces...
Hold up traffic, just so THEIR lazy ass can park closer to the store...
Park THEIR oversize truck in 2 spaces or more & parking where THEY know
THEY're causing other people problems - ex: parking close to the store...
Force THEIR way into traffic instead of getting in the proper lane and waiting
like the rest...
Drive too SLOW and DON'T keep up with traffic...

Then the same AssFucks go the grocery store, driving THEIR carts the same
way THEY do THEIR cars...

With NO regard to THEIR fellow being, THEY take up all the space in the
aisles, THEY park THEIR damn carts in the middle of the aisle, blocking
everyone's path!

Sound familiar..."

"Yep, sounds like everyday people."

"Fucking A! And I don't want to know any of them!"

"Ain't that a bit harsh?"

"Nah, it's justified."

"How many?"

"Eight billion people on earth...ohh, I'd say get rid of five, maybe six billion
  people...

  Just enough to keep civilization and the wheels of progress turning. Start a
  new economic based on barter and work units."

"So, YOU've thought about this!"

"Oh, hell yeah!!!"



I have NO patience for shit-4-Brains!!!

But, I have immense patience for ignorant people...

Being ignorant, just means a person hasn't been exposed to the knowledge...

On the other hand, if a person already knows the information and purposely
chooses to ignore the information...

Then, all bets are off...




YOU're NOT important...YOUR just another worthless piece of shit that don't
deserve to live!!!

YOU're a selfish pig!

YOU care NOTHING about people around YOU!

YOU waste our resources...

YOU endanger mine and others lives, because YOU ARE STUPID!

YOU kill the world and our human potential!

And, YOU create worthless pieces of shit children!!!

It's best YOU never existed, or as I like to say: 'The best part of YOU, ran
down YOUR mamma's legs!'"



                                             #

Damn, that felt good, too!



                                            #


gave me a worry stone from the tomb of a High Priest, from
his last Mayan dig...

FYI: A worry stone is a medium-size stone that fits between the thumb and
         forefinger and is rubbed when a person is anxious or praying.

                                             #


Anyway, as we mellowed...Donny said: "Make a wish and push the button!"


Donny: "Man, YOU're a cold motherfucker!"

"What? Like it's my fault people are stupid! Straight up, we're all evolved
  people  here. If any of us was stupid, do YOU think we would be friends?"

They all shook their heads (no)...

"And, if I or any of my friends or family disappeared, so be it...that just means
  we're worthless shitheads that don't deserve to live...wouldn't YOU agree?"

Now, they nodded yes...

                                              #

Somewhere around oh-dark-thirty, while listening to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of
the Moon,  I remembered the late futurist Alvin Toffler.

Author of 'Future Shock', wrote that any given time in history, about 90% of
humanity has their heads up their ass!

Seven-to-eight percent have their heads halfway out of their ass...

And, 2 - 3 percent breathe fresh air and know what the fuck is really going on!

I find this to be true!

Back in 2007 or so, a futurist whose name I forget, made a statement I'm
paraphrasing and agree with: "The planet could repair itself, if the human
population was 3/4's less, than what it is now...

He was ridiculed for telling the TRUTH!!!

I wish I could remember his name...

                                              #

                        Then, I pushed the button...

                                              #

If YOU're still here, reading this...then, YOU've been given a second chance!

Don't be a dumass, be kind to YOUR fellow being, do the right thing, all the
time, every time...no matter how much it hurts!

               The powers that be, like that kinda stuff!


                                 *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

                            So, what do YOU think?

Pls contact me at: roc411@21stCenturyFables.com and let me know YOUR
thoughts and opinions of this story.


                                          # # #


This next eFable is Fr*e and Family-Orientated, I call it:


       "Kissed By a Fairy - A True Story"







Back in the summer of 2004, I was nephew-sitting 5 nephews, ages 6-15,
all good kiddos...

It was lunching time and I getting the grill ready to Q some burgers...

The oldest and the youngest nephews, who happened to be brothers, were
with me. The other two brothers and their cousin were inside playing computer
games on Grandma's (my mother) computer...

                                                #

Our house is on the corner of a busy street...

We were in the farthest corner of the backyard, away from the street,
underneath fig trees...

Every now and then, I sent one or the other nephew into the kitchen to get
a spice or ingredient I pretended to have forgotten...

My nieces and nephews loved when I cooked...

I had turned them onto lemon pepper, orange pepper, teriyaki sauce, soy
sauce, and my own homemade BBQ  sauce...

So, whenever I cooked, they knew they were in for a treat!

In the past, when my nieces and nephews acted up, my sisters send their kiddos
to me for discipline...

My sisters couldn't understand how one afternoon with me, their children came
back right as rain!

They knew I never cursed at them, raised my voice or hit them...

They simply couldn't understand why my cooking was anything special...



But it was simple, I've told every one of my nieces and nephews that I'm not
their Mom or Dad...

I'm their Uncle...

They can always ask me anything and I will always tell them the TRUTH...

Just like I told my sisters, their Moms, when they were small fries...

And, just like I told their Moms, what they tell me, is between them and me...

Unless, I think parents need to know, and I would tell them before I
talked to the parents...

I learned early on
, that quickest way to a child's or teenagers mind - is
through their stomach!

Tell me I'm lying...

So, my nieces and nephews knew that if they didn't come clean, I wouldn't
feed them!


                                                #




my nephew and I helped rescue an abused wife,
rescue a kidnapped infant baby and had the abusive husband and father
arrested, with the assistance of 911!



And, if that wasn't enough, I slipped into the in-between!

YOU know where I'm talking about...

The place adults say doesn't exist, but we know better, don't we?!

When I








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